Below is the transcription for this episode:

Dave: Hey what's going on my friends David Sharpe here another episode of Wake Up Legendary you are going to meet Barb are going to don't already know her. She started her business 10 months ago, and we're going to be hearing from top lessons she's done pretty well as well. So we'll hear about her top lessons today. Let's go ahead and welcome Barb to the show. Hey, what's going on Barb?

Barb: Hey, Dave, how's it going?

Dave: Good to have you on. I know of you, you've, you've given a lot of value to a lot of people in this community. You know, and, as a matter of fact, we had a coaching client here not too long ago, who was you know, sending, because she was getting so much value from her. Hi, Susan, if you see this, she was sending her, you know, people into your groups and stuff. And I said, That's fantastic. And in the future, sooner than later, let's get to a point where you feel that you're doing it, you can deliver enough value that you can have your own group and start you know, start facilitating, just like BBs. So it's been great that you've had your own success. And there've been many people who have leaned on a lot of your teaching skills, right? Because you're also sort of where you come from. Right. So give us a little bit of your backstory and tell us sort of what led you to us, I believe in 10 months, so in roughly January?

Barb: Yeah, January. Yeah, I like to be verbose. So I'll try to keep it like Super Reader's Digest condensed version. 

Dave: What did you just say verbose?

Barb: Yeah, I like to, I like to over clarify and make sure people are really clear.

Dave: I’m a ninth grade drop out so if you use a word that I don't understand, I'm just going to stop you and say, can you make me use this word? Yeah. But go ahead and give us the reader give us the op, I guess the opposite of the verbose. 

Barb: So I've had a lot of, you know, jobs, I wouldn't call them careers or anything. I've worked in retail, I worked retail, blockbuster and borders made, they both rest in peace. I worked in investment management for seven years. And that is really, like we were talking about before we got started Dave, that's where my addiction and alcoholism really took off. And was where I was working in investment management. It was very, like 60 hours a week, plus an hour commute. And it's just really, really high stress. And then I left that job, and I became a teacher. So I was teaching stem, which is science, technology, engineering and math for primarily K through six. And like teaching and coaching and mentoring has always been a passion of mine actually, ever since I started working at blockbuster, when I just got thrown onto the register and told Kay to learn and that was not the best experience for me as a hyper introvert. And so that's kind of what ignited the passion of I want people to have a good onboarding experience and good training experience. And so I always have always kind of taken that with me like that passion to teach and help people who are terrified or feel like they can't do it. Like that's always just been really Strong in me. Anyway, with the whole, you know, pandemic happening, my job went from teaching, which I love to administrative stuff like, oh God grant writing. If anyone out there has ever written a grant, I, like let's start a support group. It's awful. grant writing budgets, financial statements, just like everything I hate sitting behind the desk, and nothing that I, like, was nearing retirement and was like, Oh, yeah, I'm gonna hand the keys over to you. And I was just like, starting to panic, because that was not the path that I wanted whatsoever. And I know, from being in recovery, and from having so many times in the past, ignored that feeling of panic, and pushing it down and being like, Oh, no, if I just deny this, it's gonna be okay. I knew that if I didn't come up with a plan B, and start doing something, taking action. To build that plan B, I was going to be in a position and six months after I had that, you know, started having that realization that I didn't, didn't like, my dog didn't want to go down that path. But I'd be in a position where I didn't have the emotional energy, and I just was so beat down that I'd be stuck. And so I made the decision to start looking at ways to make money online, you know, like, I always say, like any good millennial, and I looked on YouTube, and I found a YouTuber that actually has a very, he's also in recovery. And so his story really resonated with me. And he kept talking about his number one recommendation for how to learn to make money online. And so that's what led me to the 15 Day Challenge, and the rest is kind of history. I immediately saw the value and the model of high ticket affiliate marketing. And my perspective was, if he can do it, I can do it. You know, like, this is just some guy who used to be a, like a blackjack dealer at some Casino in Minnesota. And now he's Thomas Yeah. And now he's, you know, crushing it. And I feel like a level of trust for this guy. So if you can do it, I can do it. And this is gonna be my take out of my nine to five. And that belief, and that just absolute belief, really, is what has kind of carried me to this point. 

Dave: Well, incredible, incredible. I mean, there's so many things to unpack there. But I just want to congratulate you for, you know, setting an intention and turning it into a reality is that something that you've is a pattern for you is that something that is a is a is a new? Is it new in this season of your life? I mean, talk to us a little bit about mindset and how you either develop certain mindset approaches and always had them or how you knew, or some, or is this newly developed?

Barb: A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. I've always, always been so stubborn and so persistent, almost to a fault. One of my basketball coaches was yelling at my team at halftime when I was in high school. And he was just yelling at everyone for being angry. Because when this is a blanket generalization, but when girls play Angry, they get pissy, and they don't play well. He's like, except for BB. Because when I get mad, I will run through a brick wall to spite you to achieve the thing that you said I couldn't achieve, you know. So I think part of it is that. But I think a lot of it is also you know, I think when we go through hard stuff, we have to either learn and grow or we die, and whether that's a physical or spiritual death or whatever. And so I think that this kind of hard stuff that I've had to go through, and learn the hard way that if you believe that, if I don't, I'll rephrase it with a nice statement, if I don't believe that I can be successful or that I can do something or that I'm not a natural or I'm not, you know, fill in the blank with whatever role or quality or whatever, then it's that belief that feeds my behavior. You know, it's not the other way around. We don't become a marketer. First, we don't become natural born runners. Like, running is so important to me. I hated running because I wasn't a natural runner. It wasn't naturally fast. I didn't like it. So I started running, because that was actually a really pivotal thing for me in terms of belief and mindset. I started running because I figured if I can learn to like this and learn to be skilled at it, I can take that to do you know anything, any quality, any strength, any skill. And then I started running five K's. I started running half marathons. And I was like, Okay. And that was like a really big turning point for me in my late 20s. To realize we're not naturally anything. You're not a natural marketer, Dave, like you pick those skills up, because you were looking around and learning these things as you went on through life and opening your eyes when Oh, like, I can take something from network marketing, or I can take something from this experience in Home Depot or whatever. And put all that all together, you know, nobody's a natural anything. We either pick things up as we go and are open to things or we just go through life with blinders on with the existing beliefs that were brought up with his kid and don't deviate from that. 

Dave: Yeah, I totally agree. So just to be clear, you are now full time online doing this.

Barb: Yeah. Yeah, I quit my nine to five. My last day was actually July 2. So that was pretty. I don't know. Good timing with independence in the United States. So about three and a half months.

Dave: Yeah. So tell us more about that. I mean, it was that that was obviously an intention that you had set something that you wanted to do a goal that you had. So tell us how you lead up to actually doing that. This is something that so many folks want to do. They want to quit their nine to five so how did you plan that? How did you make sure that you were secure enough? Was there a certain element of fear there what Talk to us a little bit about leading up in the in the hole? actually doing it because it's something that so many people dream or talk or threatened to do or whatever, or I know some who are who are even in a position to do it, and then are even afraid to do it? Because when is enough enough? Like, like, you know what I mean? So talk to us a little bit about you quitting your job.

Barb: Oh my goodness, well, I'll start by saying that and I've said this before but I think so much comes back to me being in recovery honestly, and the things that I've learned from really persisting in life with sobriety. And I was literally at the point where I choose between reaching out for help to start the process of being in recovery or dying physically, like that was where I was at, you know, several years ago and that like fear and like mortal terror like having to expose myself in that way like hey, I need help and I'm not this perfect put together adult that I've been pretending to be and really this admitting that deep dark shame, there was nothing scarier to me than that. And so anything else that's remotely scary, emotionally doesn't really compare to that. And so I guess fear for me was just a little bit of unease in comparison. So to backtrack a little bit so when i when i first I think I signed up for the 15 Day Challenge January 15 of this year and my goal was to quit my job within one year and so I had a long term vision like that was my goal one year so January 15 of 2022 so off the bat I had this belief that this was going to be my you know, the thing that I built over time to eventually make more than my nine to five and eventually allowed me to leave my nine to five and so I think having that belief was just a very strong presence for me. Number two, realizing that it wasn't going to be overnight and I wasn't waiting for like oh, when do I start making money it was like okay, something that everyone was telling me I need to build over time and just keep doing the right things like the next great thing the next great thing each and every day, and eventually it's going to pay off and kind of the analogy that I tell new affiliate marketers that are asking what am I gonna make my first commission like, don't worry about that worry about providing as much value as you can to your target audience. And then every you know, every piece of content that you make, you're like putting that in a piggy bank and eventually down the road you get to crack that open but know that your efforts are on offer, not like wasted, you know, That was the perspective that I took my first started. And I, it's ironic, I think that when you let go of that outcome, that that's when the magic happens, you know, when you let go of out and you are worried or concerned about providing the best content you can provide, and iterating you know, changing it up if your content is not performing the way you want it to. That's what you have control over you don't have control over if you make Commission's or views you okay, if you're not getting the views, engagement and following you want, do something different, iterate, you know, put out some work on just testing, see what works. And that was the perspective that I took. And ironically, I think because I let go of those outcomes, and was just focused on what I could control, you know, Serenity Prayer one on one. Like, within a month and a half or so, I was making as much with my affiliate marketing business as I was making my nine to five. And I remember, like receiving my first big commission and being like, Oh, my God, this is like something, this is real, like I could, I could actually quit my job sooner rather than later. And that momentum kind of carried and eventually I got to the point where like, I was so bitter and resentful of having to go to work 40 hours a week, when I was working 10 hours a week, 12 hours a week of my online business and making more than I was working full time. And so that bitterness and resentment was getting to a point where it was not healthy. And it was starting to kind of impact the rest of my life, you know, just being emotionally worked up and agitated all the time. Not having energy to do other things. And just living with bitterness and resentment. And I didn't like that. And a couple of close friends, like myself, who are also in an online business, really trust their opinions as pointed out. It's like an opportunity cost at this point, like, what are you losing, by continuing to work this 40 hour week job that is just draining you that you could be re allocating those efforts and that energy to your online business? Like what are you actually losing by continuing to stay stuck at that job? And that was very eye opening for me to think about it from that perspective.

Dave: Can you hear me? Yeah, can I get you to switch over to your phone because I think your internet is lagging or something's lagging with your WiFi if you could go to your phone and typically plug into your you're your you know, your data network or whatever your four or five g that might be better, because it your videos just lagging in, you're dropping such good information. David's got an issue with hers is it's the last stream and she's a streaming thing. So the stream is off Facebook completely. Oh, yeah. He says streaming our bandwidth. Okay, so just because it might come. I want to share a little bit of experience about quitting your job, right quitting my job. This is something that is a topic and I just wonder, you know, you guys, how many of you, that is a goal for you? How many of you don't want to go back to you knowing what you were doing pre-pandemic, what you know what, for a lot of people I think right now they just don't want to go back to what they were doing before now. You've had that experience being at home. And so I always tell people you know, it's Gonna be uncomfortable no matter what you choose. And ultimately it has to be a decision that you make, and a decision that you get to own right. Because nobody can tell you when the right time to do it is, nobody can tell you when you know, there is no perfect number also right arm that you're going to have in your bank account that's going to make you feel totally comfortable, there's likely going to be a lot of uncomfortability with any big change in your life ticularly walking away from a job or a career. But the reason why I'm sort of staying here just for an extra moment, is because BB This is something that so many people want, they want to transition over to doing this full time. And so could you just say a few words about it? Are you happy about your decision? Now that you've done it? How does it feel? And do you believe that it's real, I mean, just talk to us a little bit about now that you've actually found it?

Barb: Yeah, I am. So glad that I did it. In my experience, and I feel like this is true of so many things in my life, that when I make that leap of faith and operate, like with faith, despite having fear or whatever, good, like, great things happen. And that's where the magic happens for me. And I'm not saying like go jump off a cliff and just hope that someone catches you like that is obviously crazy. But when there's a reasonable expectation that you can do something and continue to work your butt off, and that your efforts will continue to yield that kind of result. I say if you are able to take that chance and take that risk, and that that calculated risk, then do it. Like don't let that fear hold you back. And if you have, you know, a proven business that has been getting results for you like the way that mine was, and you have done that consistently for months, there's gonna be risking anything, there's a risk in staying at your job, there's a risk in leaving that job, there's a risk in going getting a new job, there's a risk of being unemployed, there's a risk and everything like that's life like is lazy like that, you know, and it's just a matter of a risk you're willing to take and at what cost. 

Dave: You know, I think for me, the biggest thing that shifted mentally when I when I quit and went full time in my business was number one, I sort of erase my plan B so number two, I started to I stopped treating my business like a hobby and started treating my business like a business because now all of a sudden, it was my only source of income. So I did whatever it takes. And there's a cool Imagine Dragons song called whatever it takes my five year old loves and sings it while performing it last night, and you do what it takes. And I think this is a conversation in which certain people are ready for certain depths in levels of this conversation. And sometimes here on wakeup legendary, I want to try to not scare people away. But the truth of the matter is, most of the time I throw that out the window and just say you know what, this is going to be the hardest and and and most rewarding thing that you ever do. And it's going to take everything you got not so physically. Because I would say BB you're running was probably physically much more of a toll on you. But mentally not to say that running is not a mental challenge. But mentally, this is going to challenge all of your limiting beliefs. It is going to challenge that good old soundtrack that you've been playing for all these years that's kept you from having everything you want and being everything that you can be. So we've talked a little bit about some of your limiting beliefs. Is there anything else that you would say was a major limiting belief that you have overcome or are in the process of overcoming that has been life changing for you?

Barb: And I think a couple things came up. One is it's like, if you are on Tick Tock and you see those TikToks like oh, I became an entrepreneur. To have time freedom, and then now you work like 12 hours a day. So I think that's kind of a, I don't know, ingrained belief that I still carry and I'm trying working to get away from that is like the idea that hard work means working long, insane hours. That's absolutely not true. Like, and that's evidenced by the fact that I was able to build a business working 10 hours a week that was outperforming my nine to five income. So I think that by becoming more organized, and having better time management skills are helping me like developing those actual real world skills are helping me to overcome that limiting belief. And also just being aware, like, having that, that feeling of like, guilt or fear come up, like, I'm not working hard enough, right? Why am I not working right now? There's so much to do. Yeah, like, you can have to have you and work 24 hours a day and still not accomplish everything you need to, it's a matter of identifying the priorities and working on that stuff, diligently. And, and then realizing you're not going, I'm not going to accomplish everything I need to do on any given day, I need to accomplish what I need to do to keep my business moving forward. And the rest will have to wait, like I need to continue to build this business over time, and put systems in place and put automations in place to make it easier for me as I go. But I'm not going to do it overnight. And so that's like believing that I can fix everything or do everything in one day, or in one week or one month. That's something that if you're new, or if you're been around the block a couple times, like, I think that that belief will exist for you, as long as you don't address it, you know?

Dave: Well, I noticed that you said you're working one to four hours a day right now in your business. So I mean, it really is time management and making sure that you are, you know, in some way living your dream and not living a nightmare, or one thing that we used to say all the time in network marketing, right? When all the leaders were preaching the dream, but we knew they were doing three way calls 12 hours a day, we'd say they'd be preaching the dream, but living the nightmare, right? Yeah, I mean, I don't want to be, I don't want to be striving for a dream. And of course, talking about living a dream in my in my content, if that's what I'm talking about, if I'm working in the make money online niche, but i'm, I'm hunched over my computer for, for for, you know, 12 hours a day, every day, I will say this, though, Barb. In the beginning, I worked a lot of 12 hour days. And I will absolutely even to this day work 12 hour a day if I have to. or as many as I have to, if I have something that I'm working on. That is like I'm super hyper focused on, you know, like, I'm creating something or I'm building something. And I think the difference now is that I'm being pulled by my passion, I'm being pulled by my focus, I'm being pulled by my excitement. Versus that, that way in which I used to work, which was kind of just just grind mode. And for me, at the beginning of my business, I spent a lot of time scrolling and just wasting time, like in so I would be at my computer for 12 hours, but I really actually only got two or three hours of work done. That makes sense.

Barb: 100% Yeah, well, and something that was coming up as you're talking about working long hours is if I if I I mean, I'm not, I definitely work some long hours. Now, I do take a lot of breaks because I just need to. But when I work long hours now I'm building something for myself. And it's something I'm excited about. And it's something that it's like when I take it when I take action and I get an outcome and I know I created that outcome. No one else did. Nobody handed me that result. Nobody candidate made it easy for me. gave it to me in a little package. It's not like a bonus I would get from a job. That's something I created, like I made that result. And that is so much more exciting than getting a $5,000 bonus at work or you know something that's being handed to you. And you like it when I work in investment management. I think I got like a $20,000 bonus one year, and I was still bitter and resentful. Like, let that sink in, to get a $20,000 bonus and be like, as this, you know, like, so when I when I'm working now it's it's such a challenge because I think for those of us who were used to about the boss hovering over us, and giving us a to do list or giving us an agenda to work on, and you don't have that, suddenly, I used to be 100% self directed and your livelihood depends on it, you know, yeah. And that's something to adjust to. But the flip side of that is you get to build your business the way you want, and make the decisions completely autonomously.

Dave:  And that's like, one of the, one of the coolest, one of the truest, I don't know if it's, if it's, I've been angry at this at times. But with freedom comes responsibility. Right? And, I was the, I gotta be honest, I was the guy who wanted all the freedom in the world, but didn't want any of the responsibility. Right? So I can remember back working with my dad, well, I would be mad at him, right? Because we were waking up super early to get out to the job at the crack of dawn, or, you know, him standing over me and hovering and in, in, you know, trying to get me to, you know, do it his way, and not let me learn sort of on my own or whatever, like, give me more freedom, let me go out and bid jobs and run my own job and kind of all these things. But when something went wrong, Guess who I was on the phone calling? Right? You know, I was calling dad, because those, you know, those challenges were something that I didn't know how to deal with emotionally, yet, I would get overwhelmed and freak out, right? So with freedom comes responsibility. And for me, I had to embrace a lot of things that I didn't always think were of my personality, right? Like, like being structured, or planning or using a calendar when I first started, I would be so resentful at my wife. Because, you know, she wanted a bit more structure and a bit more kind of clear what's going to happen. How long are you going to be? I was talking to Brian Brewer on the show the other day. And he said that his wife calls that a fight a Brian for five minutes, right? And I mean, we have that in my home too. I mean, it's gotten us into some pretty heated debates and battles at times because I mean, I can remember back when we'd have date night, and I'd have a video some of y'all think that y'all have challenges with shooting videos at the beginning. Well, I didn't have a tripod or whatever, tripod, iPod whatever, you know, where you can sit your phone up. And as a matter of fact, we weren't using cell phones to always sound like a grandpa when I'm telling these stories about 10 years ago online. But I'd asked my wife to sit there and hold the camera, the little camera that I used, and I'm telling you, we mean date and I feel like I just need to shoot just a quick video real quick. Well, I didn't like the video. So we'd be there an hour later, her, you know, she's dressed up for a date, she's whole her arms sore, she's pissed off. Because I got to do one more, do one more, do one more. And it's like, there was no I had no concept of time, I had no concept of clear communication with my family about when I was working, when I was going to be done working when I wasn't working. And now we've got cell phones, right? So even now, sometimes, you know, it'll be family time. And if I'm checking something on my phone, or whatever, it's like, man, I even have my kids sometimes not a lot. So don't start in the old days. You shouldn't be on your kids, too, right? But it's like, it's like, now it's even harder to set boundaries and have structure because we can do so much of our business on our phone. Right? And it almost feels like we're always working. Right? So yeah, that was a lot of stuff. But my original point was, of course, with freedom comes responsibility. Do you seem like more of a natural planner? Or am I or am I not a natural anything? All right, I think there I go. Because I think and not to make a blank again, blanket generalization about an entire group of people but I think as like a recovering alcoholic, that that part of me exists and thrives in chaos and lack of structure. And so I think that's such a big part of me that I've had to develop structure and planning as a coping mechanism. To keep myself on the straight and narrow so to speak so I have like a whiteboard with all my week planned out and looking at it right now.

Dave: I do have like that's just an hour. I don't think that I just want to stop you right there because I want to plug into the audience here and just I'm curious. I think that you don't have to be an alcoholic or recovering alcoholic or kinetic to experience that. I think a lot of us thrive in chaos and in self sabotage and then come back from it. We almost get high off of it, right? Because we self destruct we there's chaos in our life, a lot of it is brought on by us, right? We love to blame it on others, but the truth is, is that we are the common denominator and all of our shit right? And then we we're back in this moment where we're coming back from something super focus, you know, in in, there's no better feeling than feeling like an underdog feeling like you're coming back from something right you know, I'm gonna get back on the wagon, I'm gonna get back on the treadmill, I'm gonna get back in the business, you know, all these things. And I tell you, for me, it's been a real challenge to learn how to maintain on an ongoing basis and not self sabotage, and not create chaos, to come back from right into sort of organize my life in a in do more self care and have more, have more structure and have more planning and kind of actually be like, I don't know, like, like a, like an adult, like what I imagine is like a regular function adult instead of like a person who lives in chaos, and is always kind of coming back from things and self sabotage. You know, I know, I just wonder how many of you can relate to that, even if you don't have a history of alcoholism or addiction, but I just think that's such a big thing. And it's so big to be aware of that. Even if you don't do anything about it right now. But just to be aware of how, what your challenges might be coming from in this business. Because if you're one that always is self sabotaging, self -destructing, and is used to chaos, building a business around a bow and having boundaries Instructure can be a real difficult thing to get used to.

Barb: 1,000% and I think, for me, it's been super important and like a big growth experience to be aware of what those tendencies are that I have to exist in chaos, or, or disorganization, or working long hours to compensate for the lack of organization and a lack of structure. So yeah, it's critical for me, too. And I feel like this is probably true for a lot of people to have things organized and to use, almost like an externalized. For example, they're like, I use a pomodoro timer. So it's like you set a timer and it, you're working for 25 minutes, and then you get a five minute break. And then the timer starts again. And we'll work for 25 minutes and get a five minute break. And that for me it's so effective. Because it's a little bit like I'm not motivating myself. I'm not like okay, Barb, we're gonna sit down and edit this YouTube video now. It's, well, I have to. It's almost like kind of leveraging that clocking in and clocking out mentality a little bit. But I have this external thing, my timer, this app telling me, okay, you need to start working. And here's your to-do list. And for me, that's really effective in helping me get started especially when I'm doing those things that I don't want to do like editing YouTube videos. But whatever I like, whatever I need to do, whether it's that app, or timer, or a whiteboard or whatever, to keep myself focused and get the results that I need to get, I will do, I'll figure it out. I'll figure out what that thing is or how I can iterate and improve. I'll do it, you know.

Dave: Yeah, yeah. So what is another big lesson that you've learned since being online you've I mean, 10 months is like is like, is like 70 months, you know, like it's like it's like Internet years are kind of like dogs you know what I mean? It's a it's it's damn near. You can call this a career. Almost. If you've been doing it for 10 months, you know, because I think the drop off right now Because people can do it just because they get distracted and sort of treat it like a hobby and move on to something else. But what is another big lesson that you've learned that you didn't know when you started, and that's been really helpful and eye opening?

Barb: Oh, man. I think that something that I'm surprised about is the necessity and value in I hate to use the word networking, but to develop relationships with other affiliate marketers, and other people in online business. Because affiliate marketing, it's not like network marketing, there's no one above you below you, you don't have a team, nothing like that. But developing relationships with other people who are on the same path as you, I think, is one of the most valuable things that I've learned, and that I have done in the past, you know, 10 months. And I think that the reason being is, when you form, like that support system with other humans, especially other like minded people that are on that same journey that you're on and want the same things that you want, you're leveling up the people in your life, you know, and if you're hanging around with, you know, or getting that feedback from family, or friends, or people at work, or whoever, oh, why are you doing that TikTok thing that's stupid, like that's gonna bring you down, you're not gonna bring them up to your level, they're gonna bring you down. And so you need to, like, I've needed to surround myself with those people that are on that same journey as me because they mean we bring each other up, you know, and one of my favorite quotes is that a burden shared is halved, and a joy shared is doubled. And so when you get to be in a community of people, or you know, have relationships with others that are on that same journey that you're on, and you get to share your struggles and things that you're working through, they get it. And so it makes sharing that with them less scary or less awful. And when you share those wins, they're rejoicing with you. And it's like, even sweeter. Yeah, and I think that's been one of the most surprising things for me, but also one of the most rewarding.

Dave: You said something that I think was a major nugget, and I don't want to minimize anything else you said, because it was all great. But remembering that you're not going to bring a critic or a doubter or a hater, right? up, you're not going to bring them up, you're not gonna, you're not gonna, you're not going to, you know, get them on your level, they are going to bring you down. Okay. And let me give you an example of how this works in another area of life. There's a lot of folks who get clean, right, who maybe have an issue with alcoholism, they get sober, and now all of a sudden, I want to go share this with my buddies at the bar, right? I mean, I just want them to see how good I feel and how good my life's going. So I'm gonna, you know what, I'm gonna stop by the bar today after work and let and let and let everybody no 9.9 times out of 10. Okay, that person, that guy who was so happy, is going to be having a beer with his old pals before he's going to get the rest of them sober. And that is true in any sort of growth activity. There's always going to be people who are not going to grow with you. And I think one of the biggest mistakes that we make, although I never want to try to shy anybody away from coming back and being an evangelist, right? Because you see this happen with Christians, too, right? They are born again. And now they want to convert everybody else, right? Or somebody discovers something new, you know, whether it's a new food or a new, you know, a new workout or a new one and they want to come and convert everybody else.

Barb: Expecting and this is another recovery, saying, x expectations are resentments waiting to happen. You know, having an expectation that a person is going to react a certain way that they're going to say a certain thing in support of your business is just a resentment in you. It's literally like eating, here's another one. It's literally like eating poison and expecting somebody else to die. 

Dave: Right. And I have had to learn that the hard way. I mean, it was heartbreaking for me at the beginning, to not feel overwhelming support from friends and family like why would they not be so thrown for me. And for whatever reason, maybe my growth made them remind them of what they weren't doing in their life, or maybe they just weren't into what I was doing. Or maybe they thought it was lame, or maybe I was being too positive, I don't know, who gives a damn. Either way, if I would have spent enough time around them trying to convince them, I would have eventually become cynical, and negative in quit before I've because those folks are still cynical, negative, critical, right, even 10 years later. So I think that that's a really big piece that you touched on, I wanted to ask you something else you have, I believe, the secret to your business is teaching. And I think this was a little bit natural for you, because you came from being a teacher, it is education based marketing, which is kind of a boring way of saying what we do. But it's the clearest, and I think the easiest way to understand how to sell more stuff and how to be more successful is education based marketing, right? Where you educate people, and then you invite them to learn more, or if they want more where that came from, or if they want a, you know, if they want a free ebook on how to train their dog, or if they want a free ebook on how to eat Halo, or if they want free training video or a free 15 day challenge on how to build a business online using this specific business model. I think for most people, it's a challenge getting out of it's even, you know, it's it's a, it's a horrible way to come into marketing. Because if you think that you have to just go out there and pitch and that's what it's about, it's just getting out there and selling and pitching. Well, I don't even like to do that. I mean, I don't like to sell, just straight selling sucks, you know, I want to educate people I want them to be, I want them to get value, whether they bought or not, because that makes it less awkward and more enjoyable for everybody. And I can feel good about making an impact. And ironically, people buy more that way. So I actually don't end up disappearing, disappointed. But you've done a couple of things. You've started a Facebook group to help people who are looking to actually specifically be an affiliate for legendary, helping people as they're starting the challenge, and so forth. You've done a lot of education based marketing videos on TikTok. Talk to us about it, give us your own version of what I just said, right? Add or takeaway, but I want you to help people understand that the best way to succeed with this is through education based marketing, and that they don't actually need to be a salesperson to be successful with this business.

Barb: Oh my god, yes. Something that was coming up as you were talking, Dave is like the idea of attraction versus promotion, which is another recovery thing. But that we it's like when you create fantastic content, you aren't made, you're not making an ad for like, if you're on TikTok, you're not creating a tick tock like, here's this product, buy it, it's in my bio. Like, that's not what you're doing. You're it's almost like you're making a TV show that your target audience wants to watch, they want to watch more and more episodes. And then like a documentary, let's say educational, really Fantastic Planet Earth, you know, and they're watching Planet Earth and seeing all these animals and this and that. And then it's like, you know, click the link in my bio, during this short commercial break, or XYZ product that relates to people that would want to watch Animal Planet or whatever.

Dave: Like to adopt a blue whale? 

Barb: Yeah, exactly. Or to donate to, you know, 50 cents a day or whatever. But it's like you're not, I'm not successful affiliate marketers aren't going out and making ads for the product they're promoting. They're maybe not even talking directly about the product they're promoting and every single video, they're creating content that speaks to the fears, problems and pain points of the people that they want to reach. Like, I want to reach people that were like Rob was a year ago where they wanted out of their current iteration of their life, but they didn't know what that looked like or how to get there. And so shoving like, you know, the 15 day challenge or shoving a clickfunnels training or you know, shoving this solution down people's throats and being salesy about it is not the way that you To sell things, the way that you reach the people and get them get their eyes on your content is creating stuff that is funny to them, entertaining to them, or both. That's the best combination, or something that's motivational and inspirational, something that pulls on our first strings, like something that connects emotionally to those people, ads and commercials. I mean, Superbowl commercials Don't get me wrong, but typically ads and commercials are not the things that you know, something really sales pitchy aren't the things that connect emotionally with people. It's creating real authentic content, where you're genuinely connecting with those emotions and your target audience. Because that used to be you, you know.

Dave: Well, what about this one? What about this one, go to meetings, go to AA meetings, Dave, go to AA meetings, it's like, yo, give it a break, like, Okay, I see I got a problem. But like, you know, get, but then all of a sudden, I decide one day on my own now, maybe I'll mosey in. And I hear somebody tell their story. In their story I can relate to them. And at the end, I say, God, it was like, he told my story, right. And then I come back, because I feel like these people might be my people, right? Like, they know where I was at. Same concept, right? It's like nobody ever, ever does anything, because you sit there and beat him over the head to buy it or do it. They do it because they see a, they see a payoff, they see a reward at the end. Or they can identify with the person who is talking about in using a story or using a metaphor using something that connected with them emotionally, or they felt understood, like oh my gosh, this person understands what my pain is, and isn't just trying to beat me over the head with something. But it's kind of like when you go to a doctor. And the doctor comes in and spends five minutes with you, and then writes you a script. And you just leave wondering if you've got the right medicine, because they really didn't even spend time with you to try to understand what your problem is to really try to diagnose the problem. And I think that's one of the reasons why we we there's so much mistrust in in medicine and doctors, that people you know, get prescriptions after having a heart attack, and then don't even go home and take medicine, their medicine, they want to take their own concoction of vitamins and minerals. You know, and then it happens again, it's like, you know, sometimes we think that, you know, because we don't feel heard, because we don't feel understood. And because we don't feel educated ourselves. We don't pull the trigger on stuff we don't buy, we don't, we're not fully bought in. And you know, I think that those were a couple of analogies that came up for me as I was thinking about this, specifically the recovery thing of getting beat beat beat over the head, I can remember having judges beat me over the head in you know, as well as I do you see the people come in to get their paper signed at the meeting, they're like, you know, because they'd been beat over the head and just all right, your your punishment is, you know, 60 hours community service 60 meetings over the next 60 days, see in two months, right. And, you know, if the person comes into it, and actually sits through it and hears something that they identify with, maybe they'll get sober and get some help. A lot of times, they just sneak in at the end right? And just get the paper signed. And because the delivery sucked, you know what I mean? The delivery sucked. And you've had a lot of a lot of, so how do you think that somebody can become more of a teacher and adapt more of those education based marketing skills? Even if they weren't, even if they don't have the T shirt?

Dave: Oh, man, that's a good one. That is a good one for you. Because you have that naturally, right? And somebody could say, well, Barb, you have a natural teaching natural smath role play, right? 

Barb: That's just it's like, I probably sucked when I first started. But that's because I was literally 19 years old when I first started, you know, thinking about how I can help train people? How can I help teach people so of course, I sucked, like, you know, and it's not that I was a bad person or it's not that I shouldn't have been teaching or whatever. I just needed to learn skills over time and keep iterating and keep improving. And we all I'll start somewhere. And so what I would tell people is, it is so it'll change the way that you think. If you take the perspective of learning, teaching, like, and that's like, I think it was like a civil war. I know Brian Brewer says that, but it's also like a civil war reference to surgeons back in, like in the Civil War to learn how to do surgeries in the field. They would like, watch one, do one and then teach one. I didn't know that. Yeah. And I think a lot of it was probably out of necessity, but Okay, interesting, right. But it changes your perspective on thinking about how and why you do things when you take the perspective of Oh, I need to pay attention. I'm going to teach someone this as if I were a teacher asking those comprehension questions like asking kids, okay, so tell me about what you just did. And having them have to do what? Like, think about what they just did, and then paraphrase it and explain it, that cements something in you that you don't get if you aren't turning back around, and like kind of organically putting your own version of that back out into the world. Like there's so much value in turning around and teaching something that you just learned. It cements it in you and it will, it just strengthens that as a skill.

Dave: Yeah, I agree with that. Yes. So agree with that. I think that's of everything. So today, I think that if ever if you guys can in gals can take one thing from prison, you know, people Oh, the audio is cutting down, the video is cutting out Well, you know what, sometimes you just got to set the video and just listened to the words. Because you because you left in, you might have missed a real golden nugget. And the grill. Golden Nugget I just heard was the faster, you can turn around and teach something that you just learned, the more it will cement it in your brain, it will cement it inside of your subconscious. Also, it helps you to immediately turn around and deliver value. And I think the majority of people do the opposite, learn stuff, and then do nothing with it because they're not ready yet. And then, by the time you've taken in much more information to get really ready, you forgot 90% of what you've recently learned. So I want to say that again. And hopefully it also gets permit actually Can you say that again? Because I hope it gives people permission to do it. Please say it one more time. So we really make sure that people hear that.

Barb: Yeah, gosh, it's so timely because I've had people who come to me and they're like yeah, I haven't started my facebook group I haven't you know started doing x y&z because I don't feel like I know enough, or I'm competent or capable enough, or whatever it is. If you don't learn something, and immediately turn around and share that, you're not only doing yourself a disservice, but you're doing other people a disservice. Because you're not teaching them as you go. 

Dave: And you don't need to be perfect or have it all down or whatever. If that was the case, we wouldn't exist as a species because nobody ever attains that. And we could never teach anything to anyone. So learn, do, and then turn around and teach people how to do it. And maybe stuff will come up that you don't know, or you have to go and search on Google and figure out you know, and that's I don't even care if you learn and teach it. Right? Just if you learn and teach it. I mean, that's what that's what the majority of America does in classrooms anyways, right? All across college and stuff. I mean, here I am assuming again. So I mean, you know, I'm getting I'm on my soapbox here, you know, but but come on. Do you think every single thing that's ever been taught every single person who's taught it has years or months or even weeks of experience with it? No. I mean, I'm a history teacher. Was I there? Was I there during that? No, I wasn't. I'm teaching something that I read. I'm teaching something that I learned that I learned I didn't go back in history. I wasn't there during that particular time, right. So I'm the best. My wife sometimes says that I should have been an attorney right? Because I come up with some of the most, most insane arguments for things but the only thing that I want to do and I know you want to do this too, is I just want people I want people to get results. I want people that spend their hard earned time and money here. In on yourself and in your business, I want you to see a result from it so you can easily have a community that is dependent on me or is dependent on you know whatever the next thing that's coming down the road that we're going to be releasing, but I don't give a damn if people never buy something from us again is I know how to go get more customers so it's not gonna it's not like I need to hold everybody hostage. I know and I also know reverse psychology here that the more results you get the more Shea you'll buy from us because you'll be like Yo, I like this stuff I'm getting results right the quicker you I almost think that that should be like the one thing we say on the show every day just over and over again every day it's the same thing people but like oh my God, he's so sexy to save same thing every day. You know? What it's like, teach something. Do it. Sure. Do it. Okay, do it. I don't want to be leaving that out. Like I'm just telling you to go teach stuff, do it okay. But learn it, do it and teach it immediately the same day, not a week later, not a month later the same day. And I think that people could come on this show and you could come on this show and learn something every day that you could turn around in teaching the same guy right the same day. It's just my opinion. I'll get off my soapbox now. So you know and I'm not going to reveal your name but you go by alias online right to protect your identity I just thought I'd mentioned that for men and women who want to feel more protected out there on online

Barb: My other account my manifestation account that was something I did to basically as an experiment to see if I could build a following without showing my face without using my name you know, just driving traffic by creating content and I think at one point so I was driving traffic on that account to this manifestation product but I was getting like a sale a day. And so for people who I know there are people who have reached out to me before and said, I can't show my face because of work like they work for the government or you know, XYZ whatever whatever reason they have like even if you're not using TikTok you can use Pinterest you can you know drive traffic on Pinterest and never show your face and there you could blog like there are just so many ways that you can have success with affiliate marketing that you don't have to put yourself front and center you know, so just wanted to throw that my two cents.

Dave: Yeah, so you this, this, this particular account that you have, in the manifestation niche, you are a manifestation content, which, you know, if anybody's unclear about what manifestation content is, I mean, just go to Instagram, go to TikTok and type in manifestation and you'll start getting bombarded with, you know, with with mantras and affirmations and manifesting and law of attraction stuff. And then you simply go over to a Click Funnels or a jvzoo, or something to find a product that connects on that topic. And, and you can easily have a new channel without showing your face up and running in a day. It's unbelievable. I mean, there's literally no barrier to entry in this business. And it literally costs $0 to go and start a business in a new niche. I mean, for me, the speed of implementation, if you implement right away, and the barrier to entry being so low, is almost a joke. And people don't take it seriously. Right? Because it's like, that's too good to be true. You know, I know that if I started a business, I need to go take a loan from somewhere and buy equipment. And that's the only I mean, that's just the only way I need a location and all this kind of stuff. When you tell somebody No, you literally ensure you can invest in education. We sell education. There's other programs out there that sell education. I wouldn't say it's on our level, but I mean that's just me. You invest in education, but in terms of getting started. It's literally the only cost is your uncomfortability in most cases. It’s pretty crazy. Well listen, I have enjoyed this even though we had some technical challenges and I think lost a bunch of people. We still got a core group on and I'm sure many will catch the replay and I'm excited about round two and continuing to get this is your first time on the show, isn't it? Yeah.

Barb: Second. The first time was with Matt.

Dave: Okay well I am excited about a a third episode here to continue to get updates on your journey and you know, congratulations on everything that you've accomplished here in 2021, quitting your job finding your your niche, you know, finding your your kind of tribe and, and I think in many respects, finding this version of yourself as as an independent business owner versus somebody who's always probably done a fantastic job but you've had, but now doing, doing a fantastic job on your own for yourself. And I know that's got to feel good. And I just I'm extremely happy for you and thankful for all the value that you've provided just to a lot of members in this community as well. 

Barb: Thanks, Dave. 

Dave: You're welcome. Well, we will chat with you really soon. All right. All right. Sounds good. All right. See you Barb.

Barb:  Bye. 

Dave: All right, my friends. You can follow her at barbmcgowen. And my friends have a fantastic Thursday. We'll be back for another episode tomorrow. Rain or shine technical difficulties do not matter. Not at all to me. Right. So if you know a little bit of fuzz or a little bit of lag was a challenge for some of you, I'm sorry. You know, sometimes that happens but you know the quality of the message the quality of the content, the quality of the experience and the nuggets that were dropped was was was was was unrivaled, right unrivaled with any YouTube video or any other thing out there any other podcast why cuz it's loving because it's just happened. It's happening right now. It's not something that happened five years ago. Right? So yeah, we'll be back here tomorrow with another episode. See you then. Get out of here. Have a fantastic Thursday. Be Legendary. And we'll see you tomorrow. Peace.